what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock ... *No ones home*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops