How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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