What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...