A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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good looking women

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops