Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Three black men were walking...

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops