KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

Potato!

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

refridgrator

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

what's the difference between a crocodile?

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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