How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Caca.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If i open this door you can go trough it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Moooo

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops