what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

So does Blake

Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

Bean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...