yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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;iub

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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darude- sandstorm

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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The WNBA

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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