Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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Refrigerator

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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