Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Women's rights.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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