How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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