What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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My penis is big... not.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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NAACP

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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