Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Gay's

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Gay Rights

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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