Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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69

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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