A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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Poop swing

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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