A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Justin

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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How are cars made? By magic.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Dont read this joke

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Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

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were you expecting a joke

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Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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