A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

69

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahaha - Louis

If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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