How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

Im batman...suck it losers

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

Justin Bieber's mother.

Try it Yourself »

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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