Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops