Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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69 :)

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops