When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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Here's another:

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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