A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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