A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

Fat people.

What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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