A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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George Bush.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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