Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

thumb_up thumb_down -28

No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops