from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

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Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

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Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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