Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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ugh good riddance

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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2 + 2 = 4

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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