A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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whos district champs not JM

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

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why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

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Women's rights

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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