yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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Lil Wayne

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Penis.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Dumb

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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