What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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170

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops