What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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69

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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