What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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out of your comfort zone

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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