Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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And more;

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops