Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Vicky is my best friend.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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This is a joke

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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