Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

women's rights

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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