What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

* anti-punchline

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

charlie sheen losing

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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