It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops