A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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69

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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