roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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Women's rights

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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The FCC

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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antijoke is the best website.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

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Your social life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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