Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

Get off my porch.

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

wanna hear a joke? yes

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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