- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

Knock knock who's there I killed your family

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

this is not a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547