What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What's half of 8? o

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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