Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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yes... that's the joke

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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A man penetrates another man.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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Hi

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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