What do you call the black president? Mr.President

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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you...

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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