A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

69

Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the black person

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

WHAT????

when debbie meets downer

Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...