How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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