what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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watch me nae nae

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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why is rebecca black? because it's friday.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops