'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

u jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops