Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

4

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

12

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

Justin Bieber.

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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