What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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